Every child knows what it is to be afraid, but when we are small, we don’t have many experiences and the lack of knowing what to expect can illicit great fear. As we grow up we realize that some things that used to scare us, are no longer troubling, like thunder and lightning. You have lived through it before – that’s just the way things are; no evil intent. Then we grow older, become wiser, more experienced. Now, things scare us because we DO know what comes next, and we don’t like it.
For me and friends I communicate with, 2020 was frightening. January 2021 was terrifying. We were holding our breath to see what February 2021 would bring – hoping for the best, getting prepared for the worst – stocking freezers, digging holes in the back yard…
I, for one, am not afraid until I can see ‘it’ coming, whatever ‘it’ is. Lately, I have noticed others freaking out because they suspect something is coming, that frightens them. They don’t need to see it to get scared. “What if ?!!” That’s the worst, because you already know what you’re afraid of, so those are the things you will obsess over. It’s pretty hard to get away from yourself… maybe we should just run!
I will admit that no amount of experience could have prepared me for this past year. In a way, it was like being a child again – not knowing what to expect. Every single day, with the lies – that was scary for me because I COULD see “it” coming – I COULD see where we were going. The only way I knew to prepare was to hold my breath and hope it took too long for obvious events to unfold, giving Superman time to swoop in and save the day… (I’m still waiting for Superman.) While I wait, I wonder if I SHOULD be afraid. Then I answer myself “What good would that do? It is a waste of time.” But then I think, if I could go through all the possible things that could go wrong, I could prepare for all of them. When I hear that kind of brain talk, I have a sit-down with self. Self says: “While you prepare for things that may not happen (and there are more things that won’t happen, than things that will), you are not living a fulfilling life. You are not finishing projects, starting new ones, doing all the daily chore stuff that keeps the dirt from the door, and you’re scaring others.”
Self added that the only things to properly fear are death (of which we know nothing), and getting too damaged or sick to participate in life, which brings me back to the concept of carrying on in the face of very strange stuff, knowing that if it is really dangerous, fear will will find a way, then I can be scared with everyone else.